Jokes

[Miltøn]

What do you call a broken can opener ?

A can't opener

Wonderful!

[tphi]

Woooooh

[Csdo]

Dark humor

Hidden by Milton

[Afficher]

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Why do black people only have nightmares ? Because the last one who had a dream was assassinated

I don't believe religion and faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it does to skyscrapers

What's the difderence between santa claus and Jews ? The direction in the chimney

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb ? They don't. They arrest the light bulb for being broke and beat up the room for being dark

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb ? Just kidding, they can't change anything

What do black people and bicycles have in common ? They only work with chains

Why is the 6 month old african king crying ? He's having a midlife crisis

What do 9/10 people enjoy ? Gang rape
Actually it's 8, the father had second thoughts

What's the difference between batman and blackman ? Batman can go to the store without robin

What 's the difference between chinese people and racism ? Racism has many faces

What's 10cm long and make my wife cry when I put it in her mouth ? Her stillborn

Why are white babies better than black ? Easier to tell when cooked in the oven

These jokes are so dark they started picking cotton

How many babies do you need to paint a room ? Depends on how hard you throw them

What do pizzas and parents have in common ? If they are black you have nothing to eat

I asked my friend in north korea how it was over there. He said he couldn't complain

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt ? Usain can finish a race

What's the difference between Hitler and a cripple? None, they both can't finish a race

How do you spot a rich ethiopian ? He wears a rolex around his waist

Have you ever eaten african food ? Neither have they

How do you know if your sister's on her period ? Daddy's cock tastes like blood

Why can't orphans play baseball ? They don't know where home is

Why do black people have white teeth and palms ? Because there is something good in everyone

A black person has 3 white things : his teeth , his palms and his owner

Why did hitler kill himself ? Because he received the gas bill
Also he had concentration problems

I don't feel comfortable talking about the holocaust, my grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell from a watch tower

Jewpiter is a gas planet

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents for example.

What did god say after he created the first black man ? "Shit ! I burned one"

Girls are like blackjack... I try to go for 21 but I always hit on 14

What happens when you cross breed a black perwson and an octopus ? I have no clue, it sure is gonna be great at picking cotton

What do you call a black man in a suit ? The accused

I was chatting with a coworker about our first times. She said hers was like a 100 meter dash. I laughed and said, " because it was over in ten seconds ? ". She said, " no, 8 blacks guys and a gun"

The average AIDS patient lives 20 years before he dies. No wonder the Africans are trying so hard to get it !

How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb ? Jk, they can't, they just keep complimenting it and get pissed when it won't screw

What did Jesus say before he died ? "You guys nailed it"

One day I came home and found dad cutting onions. I cried a lot that day. Onions was a good dog

[tphi]

...Wow.

[Miltøn]

I am sure you copypasted them ...

Plus, I don't find such a list of out-contextual dark jokes really interesting ...

[Pafnouti42]

tl;dr

But I like the first one

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Black humor is a bit like food: not everyone gets it.

[Almar]

I feel some jokes may just be inappropriate on a public forum

[Miltøn]

It seems most of these jokes were found on Reddit. I am first boxing Csdo’s post, and I will discuss the future of this post with my Ministers colleagues.

[Csdo]

Wow i didn't think it was inappropriated
Yes i copypasted it from a friend who wrote all of that a few days ago in a conversation (i don't know where he found it)

[Miltøn]

Well, we eventually decided to keep your jokes in a box, but they can remain in Europe on this thread.
Next topic, please.

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

"I've been sending 'get well soon' cards to my friends who can't pay their water bill."

[thuiop]

Nice one x)

[Miltøn]

I don’t catch it. Is the pun between soon ans sun?

[thuiop]

Nope, it's a pun on the word "well".

[Miltøn]

Gotcha’, thanks!

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Just for the record, it's not "I don't catch it" but "I don't get it"

[Miltøn]

I thought, “catch” could also be used. What about “grasp”?

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

"Grasp" would be appropriate for something more intellectual, like a concept. For a joke, you ought to use "get".

[Miltøn]

All right.
...
I grasp it.

[Elmut]

I found this one in an english book (i believe it was "An Apple A Day") :
Q : Has anyone ever captured an abominable snowman ?
A : Not yeti.

I was like : #EpicFacepalm

[tphi]

.......
...........
...............

Wow.

[Almar]

Brilliant !

[thuiop]

Epic !

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Seven eight nine!

[Miltøn]

Wunderbar !

[Elmut]

Q : Why is six affraid of seven ?
A : Because

Seven eight nine!

Well, technically, six CAN'T be affraid of seven because both of them are numbers, thus unable to express feelings of any kind. In litterature, the attribution of a personal nature or human characteristics to something nonhuman, or the representation of an abstract quality in human form, is called "personification". Here, this figure of speech is used to create the funny part of the joke above-mentioned. Hence, one should be carefull when reading this joke : it is not making references to REAL events.

[Cassiodore]

We can go even further and call it a pathetic fallacy.

[tphi]

If I were able to travel back in time, I would return to the point when english was created and make people pronounce 8 "raped".

[Cassiodore]

If I were able to travel back in time, I would return to the point when english was created and make people pronounce 8 "raped".

Just bought a sonic screwdriver, maybe that can help...

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Jesus people what's wrong with you?

Btw this forum is totally dead :/

[Elmut]

Just bought a sonic screwdriver, maybe that can help...

Can I, like, marry you ?

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

No need for that, you already forget almost everything :')

[Cassiodore]

Just bought a sonic screwdriver, maybe that can help...

Can I, like, marry you ?

Pardon my french, literally

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Hey, a gentle reminder that you're a married man

[Cassiodore]

Cassio, tu es un homme marié, enfin.

Rouf !

Règles du forum
No French messages!

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Sorry, I got carried away <3

[Cassiodore]

Well, I'm not married yet. You'll be part of our guests, of course

[Elmut]

Can I come, too ? I like free cakes.

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Well, I'm not married yet. You'll be part of our guests, of course

Do you mean the marriage you were speaking about a month ago was not yours? :'(

[Cassiodore]

Can I come, too ? I like free cakes.

There should be no problem. I hope you like free Varahs as well

Well, I'm not married yet. You'll be part of our guests, of course

Do you mean the marriage you were speaking about a month ago was not yours? :'(

Unfortunately not, I'm not planning to get married that young...

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Or at all, for that matter...

[Tco]

Q: Why is leather armor better for sneaking ?
A: Because it's made of hide ...

[Dⓐ Яøʊƭ]

Q: What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?
A: Well, the circus is a cunning range of stunts.

[thuiop]

Shocking !

[Hal]

I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle

[tphi]

WOW

[Hal]

I wood do better puns, but yew seemed to like this one

[tphi]

I am very fond of really terrible play on words, and also of any joke based on geography.

[Hal]

Oak-ay, I'll try to remember that
Also, I hope you're not board because of my jokes, which may not have bean very apple-ing to the non-botanist out there ^^